Collaboration

I was recently asked what my New Years Resolution was going to be, and without thinking I said, "To stop being so delusional." We both laughed and threw out more ideas and then my friend paused and said, "I don't think you should focus on trying to not be delusional--I think you just need to spend more time with people who don't think that the way you see things IS delusional." Wise words.

Am I delusional, seeing things that aren't there? Or am I a revisionist, rewriting the past to suit my present state of mind? Perhaps I'm both. Or maybe I'm neither. The perk and the paradox of being human is our ability to see things from our own personal and unique perspectives.

There are many paths in life and every once in awhile we may attempt to walk one with another person. But the truth is, one side of the path may be smooth dirt and the other side might hide tree roots to trip over. One side may butt up to the edge of a mountain, while the other skirts the edge of a cliff. None of us walks the same path, even when we're walking side by side.

For a few days I felt certain that the word for 2012 would be RELEASE. But I'm tired of focusing on what I need to get rid of. So instead I think 2012's word is RENEW. I hope to redirect my energies into the things I love: my art, my writing, my friendships, my family--all the things that nourish and sustain me. All the things that have always been a part of me, even when I ignored them in the fruitless search for something new and better and other. I hope to renew my faith in myself and my own perspective, and to believe that just because I see things differently doesn't mean that the way I see is wrong. And I hope that I can be more accepting of other people's perspectives and embrace the things that make us different and special, rather than trying to wish others into being what I want them to be.

On the Verge

I can close my eyes and clearly taste

the first bite of ripe summer peach

the juice dripping down my chin

into the cupped bowl of my hand

sticky and warm from the sun

on the verge of something

tangible and sweet—but I still

don’t know the words for

the color of your eyes or

the feel of your skin

as I run my fingers

down your arm

Sixth Poem

with burning light

and fire

a phoenix

in the flames

I see myself

turned into ash

consumed

destroyed

reborn

reborn with burning

fire bright

I dance

across the sky

and introduce myself

to heaven

renewed

amazed

and whole

Fourth Poem and Fifth Poem

fingers search for heat

and clutch the hot metal grate—

snow begins to fall

*****

shoe chains grab at snow

as I climb my way towards home—

the street light flickers

Third Poem of 2011 (b/c the 1st two are not for public viewing)

Ballroom floor confetti

Sparkles like the stars.

I spin through resolutions

And tiptoe through the sky.

Holding on to all that matters,

Letting go of all the rest.

These are the simple moments

Where constellations start.

Dancing fire into darkness,

Laughing with the promise.

Play one more song, I beg him.

What’s your name, he asks.