Unraveling

I thought I was patient.

I thought I was strong.

I thought I had my shit together.

I was wrong.

I am unraveling.

But—

My friend Clare (who taught me how to knit over beers at Busters in Lexington, Kentucky) told me that mistakes in knitting made her happy because she could unravel what she had done and start over—and starting over just meant she got to knit more.

I am unraveling.

Unraveling means that I get to start over. Unraveling means I get to unlearn some of the things I thought I knew. And if I can unlearn these things, just think of all the living I’ll be able to do.

So—

Things I Need To Unlearn So That I Can Relearn Them And Really Start Living:

1. what it means to be in love

2. what it means to be happy

3. what it means to be successful

4. what it means to value and be valued

5. what it means to be an artist

6. what it means to be a writer

7. what it means to be a friend, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, and sole provider for two rascally dogs and their cat

8. what it means to be me

9. what it means to be content

10. what it means to be a survivor

11. what it means to forgive (myself and others)

12. what it means to let go

13. what it means to hold on

14. what it means to just be

I am unraveling.

And unraveling is good.